I cannot stress enough how much I want a tattoo

So I'll stress as much as possible

I want stars on the side of my face

From my eyebrow to my ear like Kat Von D has

And...

Like Angelina Jolie I want a dragon on my lower back
My dad has a dragon on his arm
And I was with him when he did his tattoo
So I want a dragon too

Also I want a vine tattoo on my ankle

But unlike in this photo I want it to go around my ankle as well

And also

If I ever do get married one day

Maybe when i'm 60 years old

Instead of having a wedding ring
I want to have a ring tattood on my finger instead

That would be more fun I think

But more likely, I'l do what my mother and father did

And tattoo the name of the person I fell in love with on my arm

I like this rose pattern

Then their name could go on top

And then in the middle i'll add more things

But I'll have to wait for a long time
Unlike my dad who's arms are covered with tattoos

And mother says they hurt more than giving birth

But I don't mind at all

I really want one
A tattoo, not a baby

Not in 10...Not in 20 years

Until then I'll just keep pets
When I was leaving the house just now Jacob poked his nose out of the cage

She probably liked my new coat

But Dumbledore stayed sleeping

I've been so sad nowadays
And my blog has had the most number of visitors
It's very ironical
I'm listening to the original Paranoid by Black Sabbath
This is it



I went out with Geraldine today
So I went from Tiong Bahru, to Jurong East, to Bugis, to Boon Lay, and back to Tiong Bahru
It's so confusing to go out with Geraldine
And she abandoned me on the way home at Jurong East:(
But, Subway guy was really really adorable
She does'nt agree with me but he is

Subway Guy: *Takes sandwich out from oven* *smiles* Hi mam
Me: Hello *stares*
Subway Guy: Do you want all the vegetables
Me: Yes, thank you
Subway Guy: *smiles, and puts in all the vegetables* Do you want jalapenos
Me: *Stares at jalapenos* Yes
Subway Guy: *puts in the jalapenos* *smiles*

He was really smiley
And he had nice hands
I have a fetish with guy's fingernails in case people don't know
I would never touch someone with dirty fingernails
It fits a little, seeing that Bill Kaulitz likes girls with nice hands
We could go for manicures together:)

Vote for Britney for Best Video of 2008

http://fuse.tv/music/best-of-2008/

There's 1 day left to her 27th Birthday, and the premiere of Circus

The audition yesterday

I was so nervous and for good reason

They gave us our scripts, and I was auditioning for the part of Gwendolyn

I think it went very,very badly

I can't sleep

I keep thinking about things, and they're running through my head like a movie reel

And I'm not really happy about the new, wider, youtube screens

It's lucky the embedded videos aren't like that

And why on earth are there nude pictures of Ozzy

He's the prince of fucking darkness not Pamela Andersen

I want a hug very very badly

Whataboutadam's blog seems different

But I can't put my finger on why it does

See for yourself whataboutadam.net

I decided to continue one of the fanfictions I wrote a long time ago

Although I don't think it's my best work

I had nothing more to add

Well I did, but nothing I was going to let little kids access

So if you want something really worth reading

Something NC-17, Mibba.com is much, much better

I need to tell you
PG-13, Parents strictly cautioned

I stared at him wishfully. There was no other word to describe him. The flawlessness of his features,Gerard. He was perfect. And I wanted him so much for that very reason. 

I tell myself,loving you is a sin. And yet I can't stop my heart from fluttering every time I meet your gaze. Every look you give me,was it love? Did you have the same fucked up fantasies I kept about you? Your voice,the breathy,sexy tone you had. Can I kiss you?

Fuck no. Did I just say that out loud? He looked at me,puzzled. Everyday,for a year,I had been struggling to keep that a secret. The movie,some retarded chick flick,was forgotten. 

"Gerard,I love you"

I lowered my eyes. I wasn't going to look at him,not anymore. I felt a hand on my chin, lifting my face. Gerard stared into my eyes. Was it love this time? He pressed his lips to mine,and kissed me. Damn,he tasted good. I was completely melting into that gorgeous creature. Leaving my thoughts behind me,I kissed him back. 

"I love you too,Frankie" he said,pulling me onto his lap. I stared at his entrancing eyes,the beautiful hazel orbs of his. Gerard gave me such a horny look that made my blood flow to my cheeks,noticeable even in the dim lighting. He was probable wondering how long it would take to the nearest motel.

"You want to get out of here? " I asked. Screw that movie.

"Only if I get to have my way with you afterwards.” he said,kissing me again.

***********

I winced as Gerard threw me onto the comfy white hotel bed and jumped on it himself. God knows what that fucking thing would endure by morning, or what Gerard was planning. I brought myself into a kneeling position and beckoned him to come closer. He did, placing his strong arms around my waist, under my jacket, and kissed me full-force, pulling my hips closer to his own. We had ordered tequila before coming up, and I could still taste it on him. I wrapped my tattooed arms over his neck, and buried my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer.

Gerard toyed with my lip piercing for a while until it bled, and then licked my lips apologetically, before pulling off my jacket, and my shirt over my head leaving marks. He was wearing a black buttoned-down shirt. I could feel muscles beneath that damned piece of cloth, and I was getting turned on. So much, I didn't bother unbuttoning anything, I just tore it apart, the plastic bodies of buttons flying across the room. My eager hands explored his torso, not leaving an inch untouched, while at the same time not breaking the kiss. I turned over so I was on top and he smirked, that annoyingly lustful smile of his.

"What do you think you're doing?" His voice was husky. I guessed all lead-singers must have been like that, lips chapped and dry from screaming on-stage, and voices always hoarse, as if they had a sore-throat. If so, then how could he manage to sound so orgasmically sexy on stage? I barely had time to answer my own question, when Gerard flipped over so he was on top, and I was left to his mercy.

He traced my collarbone with his painted finger, the black nail-polish chipping off, and then traced the same path with his tongue. I was dangerously close to moaning like a little whore, while staring into his electrifying eyes, now pools of dark chocolate. His other hand was concentrating on pinning both my wrists over my head. He shrugged off the shirt he wore, and used it to tie my hands to the bed-stand. Fuck.

He double-tied the knot, and straddled me to the bed with his hips. I couldn't move, and who knew what that gorgeous creature could do to me when he wanted to. When I wanted him to. I wanted him to ravage me, to violate every part of my body. I wanted it so much, it didn't matter if we were both guys, or if I had a girlfriend in Jersey. That was what I got.

OH HELL NAW

People still do read my blog
Even though I do not update
But since they do, I will update

And, I think it's scary
I've been very paranoid nowadays
I have absolutely no idea why
When I was in China
For the last few days I think I must have gotten very paranoid
And I got bad dreams, which I get very often

But the dreams were of family members getting hurt
Or dying, or being murdered
And the first one was of someone hurting a family member on the head
I love her, and I won't say who because I don't want anything bad to happen

And the second one was the scariest
Maybe I'll describe it for you
Well I was standing in front of a big grandfather clock
The kinds my grandfather keeps in his antique store
And then the cuckoo thing came out because the time showed 1 am

And the first time it came out it showed a polygon
And the second time it was a tree burning
And the third time
There was a woman facing the clock, which meant her back was to me
She had on this long white dress and long black hair
And she was like Samara Morgan from The Ring

The fourth time was really bad
She came out of the clock facing me, and her face was not there
There was just this black oval where her face was supposed to be
Then I think I blinked, in the dream because my eyes were closed
Then the scene changed and I was facing a life-sized Samara Morgan ghost
And then we were standing in front of a river

Two family members were there
And suddenly I got the news that one of them had died
Then I blinked, and one of the family members had become a Styrofoam head
And the ghost kicked it into the river
It fell and hit a stone, and cracked
Which meant that that family member was dead

And all the while I couldn't move
And I was watching her kill my family one by one
And then when she moved on to throw the last one into the river, I woke up
And I was in the hotel in my bed with Siti in the other bed
She was my roommate

And then now I have this feeling of being watched
I'm scared of opening my eyes again while I bathe
I don't know if you know what I'm talking about
But when the water runs down your face you close your eyes, and then you have to open them again
I'm scared of doing that because something might be there when I do

And while sleeping I always sleep on the left side of the bed
And the door is at the right, and i'm facing the window
So I've started sleeping on my back because I don't want to look either way
And have something just appear there

And when I move to look at my full-length mirror
I'm scared of seeing anything in it other than myself
Especially anything wearing a long white dress, with black hair and no face

I really get lots of horrible dreams
I've dreamed about mental patients with grotesque faces
Not mental patients, but ghosts of mental patients who remain the hospital beds because their too psychologically damaged to move on
And I've dreamed about madwomen, who have blue-light faces on stairs in our school
And I've dreamed about everyone on earth looking the same one ghost
This terrible woman who got burnt at a alter because she was born with no tongue