Panik and Tokio Hotel together makes awesome


And, DMs scare me really really badly
I don't understand why fringes or coloured ear sticks can ruin the school's reputation
I'm not being rude, I just really don't understand why
On a better note, I got my tablet fixed

If anyone has any proven pimple cures
Please give them to me, because my skin is breaking out like there's no tomorrow:(
But now, Back to Bio

Everything about math is pissing me off
And I guess that's what made me say 'go fuck yourself' to someone
I'm not sorry if you're wondering, in fact i'm happy I said that
I guess i'm going to rant here, I think I need it

If you're a friend, I expect you to know that I don't like to be treated as though I'm stupid
And by pretending that I don't understand a word of tamil, you're doing that very well
In case you don't know, i've been learning the damn language for 10 years
I might not get fucking distinctions like you, but I'm not stupid understand?

And when I really really don't want to do something
You don't pretend you know how i'm feeling
Because you don't
And I don't expect you to
I don't even expect you to understand

I realised that I don't like people looking at me, especially when i'm in the middle of doing something
If it's not finished, you wait
Don't butt in when i'm in the middle
Obviously I don't feel good about half-done work I care about

I also hate people talking about me, in front of me
For god's sake, i'm right there
Ask me straight how old I am
Are you that stupid
This post and the other angry post somewhere down there are not for the same person

I'm feeling empty now
No love for anyone
No, deep love for anyone
Except for her, and Bill Kaulitz
But i'm so used to not being over you that it does'nt hurt anymore
Although I wish it did, and I miss it a little

To my friends its a different sort of love, but I think it's better
When someone gives you a hug when you look completely ugly, and messed up
And you feel like complete sheisse
I know they're a friend
And my friends are awesome

Now, i've got a stupid headache
I don't want to go to school tomorrow
I need to be home for a while, to feel like, a human
Not some multi-tasking, top-scoring, perfect student wannabe wannabe
I'll rather sit at home all day and fangirl at Tokio Hotel

I know i've been mean nowadays
I'm sorry,
But I'll be back soon
The one who actually cares about other people. and herself
I just need to straighten out my thoughts and get back to life
I really really appreciate all of you, and thank you for everything

And, I don't know what this has to do with anything
But Angela is retarded
And she and Andrea smacked me on the butt and the boobs
I don't know how many times
So I smacked them back
But then Angela punched me there
It was, PAINFUL

Angela: My back is crooked
Me: I need a back-brace
Angela: *stare* Me too. I want pink colour.

And Shamini and Stacy were like funny extras in front
They kept laughing at us, they're funny funny people
Even when we weren't doing anything
Seriously crazy people, they are

The song Bad Day by Daniel Pewter makes me feel better
Maybe because it describes exactly how I feel now
And it's such a cute song
I love it

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Will you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(Oh... holiday...)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day

So during art, what happened was
Of course you all know I simply cannot keep still when doing anything
We were painting
And I was talking to Jia Ying, and then the paintbrush hit my fringe:(

And now there's orange paint on my fringe
BRIGHT ORANGE
And it's not coming off
D:
Sheisse, sheisse, sheisse

WTF NO.
I don't care

English- B3
Pure Literature-B3
Biology- A2
Combined Sciences - B4
Combined Humanities- B4
Amaths-F9
Emaths - F9

As of now, my L1r5 is 25
It's, better than I expected
We did'nt have common tests for art
I've yet to add in Tamil, which is obviously going to pull everything down
Damn, I hate maths, and Tamil

I don't want to go for tuition
And I don't want to stop Buds, or Tapestry
I feel so, disappointed
And yet I can't really fully feel that it's not really my fault
I don't want an A1 for either or my math subjects, or tamil
I just want to pass, and I can't

And furthermore, I dropped higher tamil because I was failing
And I still am
I don't know what to do
Even my parents have given up trying to make me more, indian
How can I actually pass subjects I hate to the core
Even Amath is really pissing me off

Mrs Tan and I talked today
I asked her is the class tests were added into the overall and she said they were
Then I told her I did badly for maths, and she told me I could better next time
She's such a nice teacher, and I don't want to disappoint her
And so's Mrs Gek, I don't want to disppoint her either

And, I saw Miss Vicky at Tiong today
I was buying a sketch pad for art and she walked across
Yes she saw me as well
:(

Girlfriend and I exchanged nametags during assembly today
Then we ended up forgetting to return them to each other before going home
So now I have her nametag and she has mine:D
I just need to say how funny today was
Mostly because of Zehra

During Amath we were being stupid
But especially Bio, when labelling all the digestive organs
I think we laughed so much, Miss Poh called us the laughy group
Especially the joke about the oesophages

Nishan: What about the oesophagus? What does it do? Transportation?
Zehra: LOL it travels. It has a passport.

And the people

Nishan: Is this the head? It has no eyes, no nothing.
Zehra: LOL. It's blind, deaf, and dumb.
Sham: WHERE ARE THE LEGS?!
Zehra: Look you lost the legs man.

And Sham, when we were told to paste our diagrams around the class

Zehra: Where is it?
Sham: On the door, so people can look at it as they come in.

AND ENGLISH.
We did skits, and Afiqah, Qiao Yi, Syahirah, Eva and I did situation 1
The thing about the people not being happy with the restaurant they went to
Afiqah is awesome
She and Qiao Yi put together are the funniest people on earth

Qiao Yi: Oi waiter. Menu leh?
Afiqah: *Throws menu* ("Menu" on Menu is spelt as "Man U")

Qiao Yi: We want to order you fish thing. You're $20 fish thing
Afiqah: (once she comes back with food) OI. WHAT IKAN BILIS THING IS THIS?
Nishan: WAHLAO, we never order this sia.
Afiqah: Then what?
Qiao Yi: FISH, FISH. THIS FISH.
Afiqah: Ohoh that one I know how.

And, I did my emath homework for once:)
During Mrs Gek's extra lesson

De grootste muzikale uitvoer van Holland, Within Temptation



AND,
Interviewer: How long does it take Strify to get ready to go out?
Strify: I wake up like that in the morning :)

I remember listening to this song for a month last year



This, and Shapes of Black are the only songs I like of King Diamond
But I think he's an awesome person still

Angela said Lady Gaga is coming to Singapore
And guess who's touring with Lady Gaga?
Cinema Bizarre said so on their myspace, but only for the US and Canada
D:
And, apparently David Archuleta is coming as well and HE IS SO CUTE
AHHHHHHHH ADORABLEEEEEEEEE:D
Nicole and I want to go if he does come:D

I seriously really want to go for Cats: the musical too
ahhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The greatest musical ever, apart from POTO
:)

Buds today with Zara was nice:)
She did'nt get lost:D
Seriously, I've never laughed that much in Buds before
Although I really loved our group's skit
I think the second group's one was awesome
"You're so Indian", I should use that on my family sometimes
They won't mind, it's true anyways

Kahheng messaged me saying he overslept
Maybe I should wake him up next week at 4 am, that would be nice
Tapestry Playback Theatre workshop was also nice
Anne said I had potential for playback theatre, and so she decided to work me extra hard
But's she's seriously nice
And my mom agreed to go with me for Jerry's performance

And I found out I cannot do housework, at all
Anne asked me to go fill up a bucket with water, put in the soap, and mop the place
Cause it was dirty and we would be running all over the place
So I did
But what happened was, I filled up the bucket with only 1 cm of water
You could'nt blame me, because the sink was too high

So anyways, the soap was'nt that diluted
And if I mopped the place, it would become sticky with soap
So what I did was, I asked if anyone know how to mop
And Anne and Jerry laughed at me:(
But Joseph came and helped me
How nice, he started laughing because there was only 1 cm of water

But he helped me mop the place
Or rather, I sat on a chair and watched as he did the mopping
Did I say, he's in Hwa Chong, and he didn't have to go back to school
I'm in Crescent, and I had to go back everyday except for Friday
This is unfair, really
We learnt about Down Syndrome today
I think kids with Down Syndrome are actually really cute
Yes they might need a bit of help, but they're still kids
And kids are awesome:)

Anyways, Zara loves showing off her "assets" to the world
And, I don't see what's wrong with having sex on the beach, seriously
I mean, a few grains of sand might get in the way, but who pays attention to that
Anywhere seems okay
On top of a tree, in a freezer, but NEVER on my parent's bed
I might be freaky sometimes but I'm not that freaky

I've been listening to alot of String Quartet tributes

My god, can anyone get more stupid
You're dying to get into other people's business are'nt you
You just act as if you belong everywhere, talking shit when no one asked you to
Disgusting, seriously, you disgust me
I'm surprised someone can even look at you long enough to even love you
I suppose that's why she's half-dead
The only wannabe-fag down here is you, and you're so disgusting, you're not even fit for that name
Making fun of gay people are we, well close down you're lesbian porn and say it again

Ps. No one asked you to talk in the first place
So keep your mouth shut from now on, nothing useful ever comes out of there in the first place
I would wish you'd die
But the world needs at least one serious idiot

Thank you Fatehah, for everything you said and did to make me feel better
I really, really, really, from the bottom of my heart, appreciate what you've done
It might seem impossible that a penpal who lives so far away might have so much effect on someone
But Christopher really cheered me up too
I know he does'nt read my blog but still, Thank you
I cannot say i'm fine now, but i'll be okay

And, Cinema Bizarre has a new photoshoot up







And, Bill changed his hair:(
It has white dreads in it now
I liked his spiky mane better
But whatever, he's still hot




But I wish he did'nt tie it up though

I don't think I can do anything any longer
Just keep holding on, live every second like it's your last
It's getting harder and harder to keep to doing that
Everything's wrong now

I've got no inspiration, no passion, no motivation to do anything now
It's just worthless
Life's just worthless
Life's bloody draining
Praying is'nt working anymore, it's not giving me strength
God would'nt put me through all this, and I don't know what i've done to deserve it myself

I want back those times
When free time meant free time
And "I love you" really meant something
Where I didn't wake up every morning praying for the day to end
And go through life like a wait for my last hospital stay
I'd like to say I don't want to live anymore
But no, i'm not going to let my life end like this

Maybe going on is'nt really worth it
But I can stop for a while
If life's not letting me, then i'll make it let me
Because if right now, I do as life says, then there won't be a life to say anything any more

Oh and you, bitch
If you want to quote lyrics at least quote them right
In what way does Cards seem like Cars?
And what do cars have to do with a queen
Think i'm being petty?
Well that band stopped me from losing myself two years ago, and inspired me into becoming who I am, and i'm not about to let anyone get away with fucking quoting their lyrics wrongly
It just ruins the whole message, which pisses me off

Are You A Paranormal Expert? Expert You�re a paranormal expert! Your knowledge is great when it comes to things that go bump in the night. You find this field fascinating, and you couldn�t image a world without the creep factor. myYearbook.com src="http://assets.myyearbook.com//myb_mini.gif" border=0> Religion-Occult Quizzes

Flag day today was, draining
Fatehah and I decided to go to Bugis to collect donations
We filled up a quarter of our cans there
And I realised how mean Singaporeans are
I mean, if someone comes to you asking for donations, you don't ignore them

And you don't shoo them away like servants neither
We bloody are not tied down to do this you know?
For all you know, the donations could be to your friend's brother, who has a disability
You could at least stop for a while, and say it's okay politely

Anyways, we walked all the way to City Hall
And to tell you the truth we just stoned around waiting for the donations to come to us
We stoned around Marina Square, and The Esplanade
I really want to watch Cats the musical:(
We were really near the Substation at one point
Then gave up because we were "Drunk with fatigue" and headed back to Jurong East

Then took the train with Sumukhi and Urmila
Oh there was this super cute baby
Who took a liking to my Elephant keychain, and Sumukhi also
And his name was Hakish
So I let him play with my Elephant keychain untill I had to go off
He was ADORABLE
And, and he waved bye
:D

I haven't started on Holiday Homework, at all:(
I should start soon, now
Angklung camp tomorrow, and I don't think I'm looking forward to it
There goes all my happiness
I HAVE A LIFE OKAY
LET ME SLEEP

Just woke up,
And I want to go back to sleep:(
I HATE FLAG DAY D:

Brothers on a Hotel Bed

I taste your mouth, Tom. Tell me what I'm doing fucking my own twin brother. What I'm doing enjoying his body, why I enjoy it so much. Of all the fake Barbie's on earth, of all the plastic pretty faces, I'm the one who was always close to you. I always had you in one way or the other, used you to fulfill my fucked up fantasies.

When I told you I was gay, why didn't you run screaming to mom about what a freak I was like the rest of them. I remember you picked me up 2 years ago when I was bleeding on the bathroom floor, and you looked down, and you looked back up again and you said,

"I understand Bill, and I still love you." You said that, and the world was perfect. They preached all they wanted but they couldn't save me, I was just the way the doctor made me. You made me sick, prettyboy, but you made me love being ill.

And why didn't you squirm away the first time I had my hands around your hips when I was on a shitload of pills, beckoning, begging for you to come closer. Were you afraid? Of what I could do to you if you didn't do as I said. Why didn't you push me away the first time we locked lips, like angry wildcats pleading for entrance, piercings clinking and teeth scraping.

But then you realised how much I needed you, and what you could do to me. And now I'm lying with a guy who beat me every second, when he felt like it. He gave me all his hopeless hearts. He could humiliate me yet make me feel so dignified. Who only hurt me by making me hurt myself.

It's disgusting but yet it's beautiful. You're terrible, Tom, but you're perfect. Manhandle me in any way you choose and throw me away again for as long as you want. You'll never make me leave, I'll wear this on my sleeve. I want you to want me to want you, I always will.

Serisouly, you can never take me seriously
LOL
I hope mother does not read this as well...:(
But it's funny:D

Yo momma is so dumb, she sat on the TV and watched the sofa!

Yo momma is so fat, she stood on the scales and it said "one at a time"!

Speaker 1: What did you have for dinner last night?
Speaker 2: Your mom.
Speaker 1: ...and for dessert?
Speaker 2: Your mom.

Yo momma's so old and fat that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.

Yo momma's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

Yo momma's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Yo momma's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

Yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make cookies.

Yo momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

Yo momma's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Yo momma's so fat, when we played hide and seek I spotted her behind the Himalayas

Yo momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo momma's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.

Yo momma's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints

Yo momma's so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight.

Yo momma's so old, her birthday expired.

Yo momma's so old, her memory is in black and white.

Yo momma's so old, she used to baby-sit Yoda.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.

Yo momma's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

I guess i'm jealous of the girl at 0.24
Because Bill is checking her out
Although she is so hot
Anyways, think happy thoughts

Went for Buds today
It was nice
Saw them after weeks, which was awesome
But I left early:(
So I could do front of house for Encore

Geraldine and Adelia were retarded
They called me out of nowhere and asked me if I wanted to go to Sentosa
But I did'nt go:(
Sorry no life partner and sitting partner, i'll make up for it another day okay:)
It was the last day of the performance, but I got to watch the last bit after the intermission
The old couple in the play was so cute I swear

Then we played some chucky game after everything
Kai is awesome, I hope she remembers to add me on MSN
Will be seeing Zara and Kahheng next week anyways
I hope Zara does'nt get lost like she did today
That funny person spent $20 on cab fare and never made it

D:
I have to cut my hair
Really, it's making me so pissed
Just trim it, and layer and thin it
So it does'nt look so wierd
Back to buffing nails, i'm watching Changeling again

Bio tomorrow and I have no mood to go
But I'll go anyway to just show my face:(
Anyways, Anne sent me this
And I think it's really, like she said, inspiring, so
http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/

Celebrity Birthdays
June, 21st

Prince William - 1982
Juliette Lewis - 1973
Michael Gross(Actor-Family Ties) - 1947
Meredith Baxter(Actress-Family Ties) - 1947
Ray Davies(The Kinks) - 1944
Mariette Hartley(Actress) - 1940
Brandon Flowers(The Killers) - 1981
Maureen Stapleton(Actress-Cocoon) - 1925
Jane Russell(Actress) - 1921
Jean-Paul Sartre - 1905
Al Hirschfeld - 1903

Irma told me I could do front-of-house for Encore this Saturday
It's at night again, from 7-10pm
But, I love doing front-of-house for the Necesary Stage
So I said yes:D

Anyways, my marks were okay
I failed Amath, Emath, and Tamil, my three worst subjects
Distinction for Bio, although I don't like it so extremely much
Passed Physics and Chem
Topped the class along with Jie'r for English
So now Miss Vicky might not pick on me as much, Hopefully:(

HAHA. Fateeeeee said this

Fatehah: I'm giving birth to elephants!
Miss Vicky: We need someone to midwife her, someone who can screech as high as her
Everyone: Ratnaaaaa
Ratna: SHUT UP LAH. SICKENING.
Miss Vicky: As loud as her also. Nishan!
Nishan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

And Lit was pretty awesome as well
So now there's Social Studies, and History left
Mr Poon told us ghost stories during Social Studies
And then he scared Jaymann
Which reminds me, Crezmun was actually fun
Although Kah Min, Mariam and me did basically nothing because we did not understand all the political stuff going around
Zehra was really awesome, she got best speaker:)

My cough got worse today
I can't stop coughing
I don't want to go to school tomorrow:(
Good luck, Kah Min, for your ballet exam
And, Happy Birthday Fateeeeeeee
And, Happy Birthday Pogo
Love you guys <3

And I saw Bobo today after a long time
She seems to have gotten paler, poor Bobo
She's still cute

Me: But I don't want to go D:
Mother: *looks at paper* You can't go, you have hypertension! You and your horrible temper.
Me: I don't have hypertension!
Dad: Haha, they're going to put you in the jungle for five days. I don't know what will happen to you.
Me:I don't want to goOOOOOOOOOOOOO D:
Mother: Nonono, you go. Serves you right. Even the mosquitoes will gets stressed after biting you.

NONONONONO
I DON'T WANT TO GO FOR OBS
I. DONT. CARE.
*stuffs face into pillow*
ahhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Lost Corner:

Nishan's Happiness
:(

Please return if found

Anyways, today is Women's Day
:D

Tapestry Playback Theatre volunteer's workshop today
Loved it:)
Anne and Jerry and the rest are so extremely nice
And thinking about kids with learning disabilities and conditions make me realise that my life is'nt so bad after all
I think, the world is just awesome

Oh, and I managed to convince mother to go along to watch Jerry's performance
Can't wait for it:)

Not a very good afternoon
Dad was scolding sister
Seriously, how stupid
I really don't understand how people can get into situations like that
I could'nt bear to lose my dad, really
Makes me cry just thinking about it

And, I lost my voice in the morning because of stupid Mr Throat Infection
So mother said I could'nt go for Buds again
Honestly,I can't help but to feel it does'nt really matter if i'm there or not
But,I guess I feel that way about everything all the time
But thank god for everything else
I'll make a list soon

Mother also made me some disgusting thing to drink
I prefer the chinese tea

Monday Blues again
I don't really think flying rainbows will come true for common tests
But I won't lose sleep over it

At the Necessary stage office with Zara now
Melissa and Jasmine let us use the computers while waiting for the play to be over:D
Zara and I tried to do homework, but only did like, one or two questions
And then stamped the Necessary Stage stamp all over the place
So now my Whale Rider has the stamp all over
And on my tamil homework also:D

We only have 10 minutes untill the audience comes out
And we have to give out feedback forms
THE KITTEN IS HERE:D
But this is the last time i'll be volunteering for this
Unless they want more volunteers next time then i'll be happy to help
How sad, i'll miss this place
It's so fun here

Did the resolution for Crezmun today in class with Kah Min
And then quality time with Jie'r was awesome
She told about her Miyavi and Uruha, the guy with the hot legs
And I told her about Cinema Bizzare and Jeffree Star, the guy who Miyavi reminds me of

And then Art was hilarious
We copied impressionist paintings
I thought my grid drawing was'nt bad, at all
But the painting was definately, EEEEE

Anyways, while painting
Yi Bin promised to lend me her Phantom of the Opera piano sheets
She can really sing, really really well by the way
And she has a song for everything
So anyways, Jia Ying and I both agree tht Daniel Vosovic from Project Runway season 2 is HOT
HE IS

And her stick drawing
She's so mean
But it was so funny, I still remember it now:)
And she kept on drawing on my legs
So I stole Yibin's pen and drew on her's :D

And then rushed home and rushed to The Necessary Stage to do front of house
Fun as always:D
But the time ran really fast, 70 minutes passed so quickly
And and, the kind lady who works there brought her Kitten to work
And she let us play with it:D
She super nice, and the Kitten was super cute because it kept knocking things down all over the place
I have a video too:D

Need. Sleep.

Please let me pass with Flying Rainbows

I really screwed amath
Terrible, and that might not be the only thing I screwed up
I feel so messed up right now
And my throat is killing me
The reason why I don't answer you, is because i've lost my stupid voice or I cannot bring myself to talk

So i'm not in the position to feel sorry for anyone else
In fact, your whining makes me all the more annoyed
I'm sorry if i'm cold, or, arrogant
I'll try not to be, really

Although, Angklung juniors made my day today
<3

DEPRESSED

Although,

KAULITZ TWINS:)

THE PERFECT Chocolate Chip Cookie - CHOW


I really really want one
D:

English paper today was fine
Tamil was horrible, as always
I still have'nt done the homework:D
It's SS tomorrow and I hope I don't fail as miserably as I did for the class test
That would be sad

I don't care about chemistry, or any of the sciences in fact
Especially bio
Damn bio
And then for Lit it's an an unseen prose
Sarvena Ramanan has big BIG problems, she said it was on The Whale Rider

We spammed Niveetha's tagboard
NOTE:D The names do not signify who really typed the messages out

I did'nt go for Buds today
I felt bad for not going
I stayed at home instead to not study, study hard
And I was sleepy as well

Cinema Bizarre has been keeping me company
I love Strify,
It's hard to believe they're a german band
They're so anime, but nice:)

Cinema Bizarre - I don't believe


And home is like a war zone
Sister got into bad company so mum and dad are pissed
Makes me feel happier that i'm in a school like Crescent
Or course, we're not perfect
But people here look out for each other, and have people who look out for them
So no one makes mistakes that are too big, most of the time

Sec 2s are going off tomorrow
Hope they have a safe trip
I'll miss you all okay:) And, Bobo
And common tests this week
Four days of hell
Bring it on

And Grandmother's in India now
I hope she's alright
It feels so empty without her here