Serisouly, you can never take me seriously
LOL
I hope mother does not read this as well...:(
But it's funny:D

Yo momma is so dumb, she sat on the TV and watched the sofa!

Yo momma is so fat, she stood on the scales and it said "one at a time"!

Speaker 1: What did you have for dinner last night?
Speaker 2: Your mom.
Speaker 1: ...and for dessert?
Speaker 2: Your mom.

Yo momma's so old and fat that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.

Yo momma's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

Yo momma's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Yo momma's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

Yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make cookies.

Yo momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

Yo momma's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Yo momma's so fat, when we played hide and seek I spotted her behind the Himalayas

Yo momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo momma's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.

Yo momma's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints

Yo momma's so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight.

Yo momma's so old, her birthday expired.

Yo momma's so old, her memory is in black and white.

Yo momma's so old, she used to baby-sit Yoda.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.

Yo momma's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.